It feels odd to admit in an article published by Church Production Magazine that for this holiday season I said “No” to participating in my church's Christmas production. In some ways I felt like I was being a traitor. As if I had turned my back on my friends and my church while they were putting forth the biggest effort of the year. It felt like skipping out on my obligations to them and to our ministry's outreach. And to be really honest about it, I found the idea of not participating to be a bit embarrassing and indulgent.
Over the past few years of church Christmas craziness I found myself enjoying the Christmas season less and less. December had become a blur of logistical juggling, high expectations, and low energy. And while I still loved Christmas, the story of Christ's birth, His gift to us, and everything that it represents, the Christmas season had moved toward being less of that to being more of hurried service and activity. The reality, for me, was that the Christmas season had been emotionally reduced to December 25th, a single day; the day after the productions had finished. In a blink it would be gone and there was nothing left to do but to hurry up and enjoy it. How sad
Realization Lands with a Thud
It was really late in the evening last Christmas Eve when it dawned on me that I needed to take a sabbatical this season. At a ridiculous hour of the night, while trying to assemble one of my daughter's gifts, my wife recounted for me what else was under the tree. While listening to her run through that list, the realization of just how little I had been plugged into my family's holiday experience broke me. Not surprisingly, I was bitter about it.
While I love working on holiday productions, over many Christmas seasons my motivations moved away from joyful service to God and towards a sense of obligation. With a ton of work and not enough people to do it I allowed my priorities to stray. Rather than taking the appropriate time during the season to spend with my family and celebrate the Christmas promise, I allowed a self-inflicted sense of obligation to promote the production over the need for quietness and personal celebration.
We see a similar type of conflict in Luke 10 when Jesus visits the home of Martha, who takes on the obligation of being hostess. Upon hearing of Martha's frustration at Mary, her sister, who spends her time communing with Jesus instead of helping Martha, Jesus suggests that service to Him should not come at the cost of losing focus on Him. Indeed
Right-sizing Priorities
My feeling of indulgence and embarrassment about taking a sabbatical this year was a sign that I needed to do exactly that. It was a sign of misplaced priorities and false obligation. And it was something that I was responsible for. This was confirmed when I informed the church of my plans to take the sabbatical; I was met with love, understanding and encouragement. While I was appreciated and valued, I wasn't irreplaceable—and in the end the implication of those unmet responsibilities was mine to own.
This Christmas season has been a much needed respite that allowed me to spend time with my family and reflect on the true priorities of Christmas, its meaning, and how Christ's birth could minister to me. For the first time in 15 years, I took Christmas “off,” and it has been a wonderful time of joy with my wife and young daughter. This year, I know what my daughter will find under the tree on Christmas morning, and I couldn't wait to hear her squeals of joy.
If the idea of production weariness resonates with you, I would suggest that you consider how to celebrate next Christmas without the pressures of production—and solely within the context of fellowship with your family, your friends, and with the season itself.
