Do to others as you would have them do to you. - Luke 6:31 (NIV)
The “Golden Rule” may be a concept that we have grown up with our entire lives. It is so foundational, that we may not remember where we heard it first. Certainly we want to live up to it in every aspect of our life, including in our technical work. We want to do our tasks, even the little things, as we would have others do for us.
If your way of doing to others isn't working, it's time to talk it out.
But what happens when our efforts to treat other this way fails? (Cue sound effects: Record scratching, screeching tires and car crash) Wait! What? How can this command of Jesus fail us? Have you ever done something nice for a person and they still got upset with you? Was it something that you would have liked done, and you were left scratching your head? Then you've experienced it.
The problem is not in Jesus' Words. How could it be? The problem is in our execution. We will do to others what they don't want to have done, because they are different from us or they come from a different background.
To give you a simple example, I have friend whose brother works in television in Australia. You may not be aware of this, but they have different technical terms than we do. The little translucent icon in the bottom corner of the video screen, I learned to call that a “bug”. In Australia, my friend would call a “jellyfish.” As a technical director I may say “Dissolve in the bug.” After some explanation, we finally agree on what I'm talking about, but we have missed the moment. This is all because we are speaking English but it's a different terminology.
This is true of many different aspects of life. We have different ways of expressing ourselves and different expectations. This is true of cultures, people, and even between men and women. I can assure you that if I took my wife to a baseball game for her birthday, it's not going to go over as well as if she took me. We fail in the Golden Rule because we try to do for other what we want done for us our way.
Compassion and empathy are the solutions and the only way to achieve that is through communication.
Jesus demonstrated a skill that we need to learn if we want to really live out His command:
When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. - Matthew 9:36 (NIV)
The key ingredients for living out the Golden Rule are compassion and empathy. You must first understand the person and their situation before you will have a clue how they would “do to you” in that same situation.
For example, when my wife begins to tell me about a stressful situation that she had at church, my first instinct is to find a solution to her problem. That may not be what she wanted. Maybe she just wanted me to listen and have empathy for her. Conversely, when I tell her about a problem, I may be looking for some suggestions while she just puts her arm around me and nods. Neither one of us is doing for the other as we would have them do for us.
In the technical arena, this may go beyond the male and female disconnects. There may exist differences between lighting and sound, video and graphics. There is certainly going to be differences between the technical staff and the musicians. We all have different ways of understanding and executing what needs to be done. Compassion and empathy are the solutions and the only way to achieve that is through communication. If your way of doing to others isn't working, it's time to talk it out.
Again, let's look to Jesus:
“What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him.
The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.” - Mark 10:51 (NIV)
The man is blind. This should be a no-brainier for Jesus. The man needs to see, but Jesus still asks what he wants. This is a wonderful example for us. To really achieve the Golden Rule, you may need to ask, “What do you want me to do for you?” Maybe there are other situations that we don't know about?
It's like a story that I heard recently from an African Missionary organization based in the US. They go to some of the poorest regions and installed water wells. There was cheering and dancing from the locals of one village, but, as soon as the Americans left, the region's warlord sent an armed gang to take over the well. The natives needed more than just fresh water.
That may be just as true to the others around you. Perhaps they don't want the light turned on or the sound to be turned up, maybe there is something totally different in their mind. They may have a deeper need.
This week, take some time to ask God to help you with your compassion and sympathy. Ask Him to show you where you have failed in your Golden Rule approach. Have Him lead you to others who may need you to do for them. Have Him show you how to do it.
