Photo by Alfred Kenneally on Unsplash
Have you ever wrestled with something for a while only to keep coming back to an answer that you just don't want to hear? Have you ever tried to live in the space found between having an understanding of something and actually accepting the pain of its truth? Yeah, so have I. Recently, I've been pondering a question that has plagued most all of us church techs in one way or another. If we as techs believe that a job well done leads to our involvement and our technology being unseen, then why do we get so frustrated when our efforts aren't acknowledged? That's an oxymoron isn't it?
You worked yourself to exhaustion getting ready for the Christmas production... But the guy wearing the sheep costume gets the hugs, the high fives, and the applause.
I think most of us have been there at some point in time. You worked yourself to exhaustion getting ready for the Christmas production, to put forth the best production that you can. But when all is said and done, the guy wearing the sheep costume gets the hugs, the high fives, and the applause. In the meantime, we head home to shed our production stress with eggnog and a nap. So, how do you feel about that? Does it feel wrong at some level? If you really think about it, you'd probably admit that there is some part of you that is bothered by a lack of acknowledgment of your efforts. But why? This is one of those questions that has an answer that I want to know and yet, admittedly, maybe it is an answer that I don't want to accept.
People just don't “get” what we do.
My first inclination was that the cause could be found in a lack of understanding or respect for what we do. That must be it, I thought. People just don't “get” what we do. We need better relationships with the team. We need to be more integrated into the routine of the church leadership. We need to do better at promulgating our role in facilitating church vision. We need to be more open about the personal things we forego to “get it right”. The more that “they” know about us the more love we would get right?
While all of those thoughts may be true, that doesn't necessarily qualify them to be an acceptable answer to our question. The problem with accepting these ideas as a solution is that it gets us off scot-free. It says that our frustration is a result of being wronged, of being misunderstood, or that it stems from other's ignorance of what we invest when we serve. I don't know about you but the last time I blamed someone else for my emotional state it didn't turn out so well. It's probably wise that we keep looking.
My second thought was that we, as techs, simply have an ego problem. After all, if we work with artistic teams who author new ideas, and if we work hard to contribute creatively and professionally, then it's only fair that we get the same call outs and atta-boys they get, right? We worked just as hard as everyone else did. We are generally the first in and the last out of the building. If it weren't for the quiet people in the corners then this whole shebang wouldn't have even happened. Come to think of it, if it weren't for us they wouldn't have heard the one (and only) line that the dude in the sheep costume had. Would it hurt to give us some accolades?
While I do believe that many of us techs tend to have egos (I am first to admit to this one) I also have problems accepting this as a definitive answer. At least I don't think it is an answer in its entirety. I have worked with many techs over the years, and while some of them did have a bit of loftiness, none of them struck me as serving without actually having a faith-based purpose for their service.
“Suck it up. It’s not about you.” If we truly know this then why do we get bothered when someone else is publicly complimented for their efforts and we aren’t?
Maybe the answer is in reality some mix of these observations and of others we haven't talked about. Originally, when I set out to pen this article, my intent was for us to dive a bit deeper into the interplay of ego and under-appreciation. But sometimes God gets involved and uses life events to change your perspective. This week He used a friend of mine to change my perspective.
Tina, someone I have known casually for a few years, is a 39-year-old woman who is the definition of vibrancy. She has a huge heart, quick wit, an energetic and feisty spirit, and an internal drive that has allowed her to accomplish whatever is in her sights. She and her husband have two beautiful children under the age of four that they tote around like The Queen's Jewels. It is obvious to those around her that God made this woman to be a mother. Her love for children is infectious.
Sadly, however, Tina has been deeply intertwined with the fight against cancer. As many of you know, that's a truly ugly thing. It has been a long hard fight for her with many ups and downs. Yet, day after day she has gotten up, put one foot in front of the other, and kept on swinging. To those who know her, she has epitomized the definition of inspiration and tenacity. Just recently, however, Tina lost her battle. Hearing that she was gone was like getting hit in the gut with a baseball bat. It seems like such a huge loss for so little purpose. Sometimes you can't help but be at a loss to understand why things happen.
Since then, when coming back to this topic, I repeatedly found myself sitting here, looking at my keyboard and yet staring at a mental image of God holding Tina's picture. It's as if He is saying, “Suck it up. It's not about you.” Wow. A second hit to the gut. He's right, obviously. What we do in service is not about us. What we sacrifice in our service is not about us. What we forego in our service is not about us. We assume, without question, that those of us who serve understand this. Likely, every one of us would attest to knowing this personally. But if we truly know this then why do we take enough notice in other's accolades as to get frustrated? If we truly know this then why do we get bothered when someone else is publicly complimented for their efforts and we aren't?
I do not dispute that there are very real times when we are under-appreciated within our organizations. I will also not dispute that there are times that ministry can fail to give us the love or encouragement that we humanly need. But in the broader scope of what God is doing, where God is headed, and who God is chasing, shouldn't our response to these situations simply be the extension of grace to those around us? Surely we have used up enough of God's grace ourselves to understand this concept.
I think what has really struck me through this recent experience is that in our somewhat repetitive form of ministry, it is ridiculously easy for us to lose the context of what we are doing. Many of us serve very regularly. Some of us serve weekly. Some of us serve full-time. It does not take long for us to start thinking of our service in the church as being a service to the church. What I mean by that is that we think of serving in terms of “Tom”, “Dave”, “Lara”, and any number of other people that we serve with every week. They are family. They are part of our circle.
Rather, we should be more intentional about serving in the context of the Tina's of our world: those who are in pain, those who are scared, and those who are looking for hope. People whose stories we know nothing about will cross our paths in some way or another every time we serve, and many of them do so anonymously. In that context, the context of offering hope to those who need it, I say let the sheep have his day.
Let me leave with one last thought. What you do in service is noticed. What you do in service is appreciated. And what you do in service is eternally transcribed. In his writings, the author of Hebrews, while urging his readers to grow in their faith, says this:
“God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. “ – Hebrews 6:10.
Everything that we do is in sight of the God for whom we serve and He will not forget it. After this kind of acknowledgement, what else could we hope for? Our God loves us. Our God will not fail to notice our service. Our God will not fail to remember what we do in His name, what we do for His people, or what we do for His purpose. Everything else is superfluous.
