Does it feel like time to throw in the towel? Are you stressed to the max? Do you find yourself constantly at odds with senior church leaders? Do you feel under-appreciated or mis-understood? Have you found yourself thinking recently that it might be time for a change? Before you walk into the senior pastor's office and hand in your resignation, consider the following:
Do the senior leaders of your church know about your concerns? If you have not shared your concerns and struggles with the leaders of your church, it is impossible for them to respond or help. In addition to their ability to lead the church towards change when it is needed, it is likely you will find compassion and solid counsel when bringing these things out into the open.
Do you have trusted people around you who can help to evaluate your thinking? Christians are not intended to live isolated lives – we are designed for community. This means that our thinking benefits from the perspective of others. Maybe you aren't seeing the issues correctly, or are completely off base altogether. The beauty of the way God has designed the church, is such that we can benefit from each other in this way. Some of the most fruitful conversations I have ever had with brothers in Christ have been ones in which they were helping me to see that my thinking was off-base or un-Biblical. Be sure not to choose someone who you know already shares the same issue – ie someone you know will agree with you and might feed the negative sentiments you are hoping to have evaluated.
Are the issues truly significant? Sometimes, because of other circumstances or our own short-comings, we will view an issue as being a big-deal when it really isn't. For example, we tech folks know there is a “right” way to do production; plan ahead, test ahead, etc. One of the most common tensions for us in tech ministry is that other elements of the church seem to work against us in these things at times. But is the stress of last minute sermon slides (as an example) worth quitting over? There are times in which differences in vision may necessitate going different directions, and sometimes truly un-Biblical or un-Godly things are taking place of which you should not be a part. However, be sure you are not leaving because you have no patience with those who don't see things your way.
Are you making the past come back to life? If you have been hurt in church staff positions in the past, or have gone through this scenario with someone, you must guard against the tendency to project these past events onto your current situation. It is a reality that serving a church is a messy endeavor at times – after all the church is the collection of redeemed sinners. But we must make sure that it is the Gospel of Grace that defines us, not our past painful experiences.
What do you believe about suffering? It seems that the Bible teaches us that God uses suffering for our good; to grow us and teach us (Hebrews 12, Deuteronomy 4:25-31). Perhaps a good soaking in these and other passages on suffering will give your circumstances some context and meaning.
Have you considered how your leaving might affect others? The Bible teaches us that that the church is like a family – of the same source and living as brothers and sisters in the Lord - and is the body of Christ; when a part of the body or a family member separates, the whole is effected (Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 12). Think of those who have served under and with you and be sure to weigh the consequences of your decision.
Finally, if you do decide that it is time for you to move on, please consider the way in which you depart. Considering that it will greatly affect the church as a whole if you leave in dis-unity, and that your own soul will be affected by leaving conflict unresolved, make sure that you are genuinely at peace with all parties, so far is it depends upon you, before you leave. Sometimes the right thing to do is to leave, but it is never right to leave in a bad way, so far as it depends upon you.
While I want to invite your comments below, please refrain from including details about current or past situations which would not be edifying or helpful for those involved and those reading. Join the conversation!
